Death By Cell Phone

I have finally made it to my half way mark of student teaching.  Couldn't be more happy.  However, I still have about 29 more days left and if anything is going to kill me quickly it will be these DAMN cell phones in the classroom.  I know, I just said a bad word.  But, my gads, these cell phones in the High School is down right ridiculous!  What 9th through 12th grader actually needs a cell phone - okay they may have one, but why do they need them during school?  And since I am on this little rant, why the HECK do they need a smart phone?

About a week ago I got into an argument with a student about texting.  The student was right in front of me as I was teaching - plain as day!  Hey student, why you are on your phone texting why don't you look up an app called RESPECT!  Sheesh?  I stop what I was doing and ask the student out right, "Really?"  Then I said, "Give me your phone."  Within a few seconds later the student right next to my previous student texting pulls out their phone to check the time (or so they tell me)?!?!  Because you know, schools apparently don't have clocks in the classroom anymore???  I stop and ask, "really?"  I continued teaching, and am not happy.  Then after class the student comes to me to get their phone back.  I was not about to give it back.  Disappointingly I gave the phone back and was not happy about it one i-o-ta!  Beforehand, as I was arguing with with the student I say it is rude and disrespectful to be texting as I am teaching, and I mention that they aren't even suppose to have their cell phones in class.  (School handbook states that cell phones are not permitted in the class unless otherwise specified.  And, I'm pretty sure that as I am teaching sewing a cell phone is NOT needed.)  As we are continuing to argue until we are both blue in the face the teacher aid of the class steps in to back a sister up.  Bless her!  Needless to say, both I and the teacher aid lose the battle and the phone goes back to the student.  BOO!  Not happy.

Two days go by.  I lose sleep.  I get myself all worked up about these cell phones being in school that I want to do something, but I don't know what to do!  I decided the only thing I can do is before I start teaching class I will have to say something.  I talk to one of my mentor teachers, and she tells me she can say something, or I can say something.  We both agree it would be better for me to say something since this is (for the time being) my class.  The night before my class I am in such a tizzy about the cell phones that I figure the only way to vent my frustration is to pull out some good old fashion paper and write down my feelings.  Oh I was fuming mad, and it showed in my writing, but boy did I release some anger.  The next day I walk into my second period sewing class and I pull out the speech (not the one I wrote down because that was very anger filled).  I know what you are thinking?  I let them have it!  I did, but I was still nice...at the end.  I got stern with them and told them all that I was sick and tired of having to take cell phones away everyday.  It was rude and disrespectful of them to even have their cell phone out as I, or anyone else is teaching.  I also said that if I have to take any more cell phones I will take them to the office and they can decide at the office what to do.  All you have to say is "take it to the office" and they know I mean business.  Then at the very end of my little speech I apologized to the students in my class who do not bring their cell phone to class or do, but don't take it out during my teaching.  Then with a bat of an eye I was on to my demonstration and the speech time was over, and sadly, forgotten.  Because guess what I took from a student the very next time we met?  A cell phone.  I think the poor student almost cried.  Because number one, they felt bad, and number two, I was very stern and told the student I did not expect this from them.

Seriously - if a student is going to text get it right!

I know, I know.  This all sounds so mean, but seriously, you try teaching and have the distraction of cell phone use going on.  Not cool!  Especially when I have spent a lot of time preparing to teach just to be interrupted by ones cell phone.  Why can't the state of Utah jump on the cool bus like the state of New York and ban cell phones from the schools???  Hmmm???

STEVE INSKEEP, HOST:

Good morning. I'm Steve Inskeep. Think of this like valet parking for your car. Students in New York City have valet parking for their phones. Cell phones are banned in New York schools, but students cannot bear to be without them on the subway ride to school and back. So entrepreneurs have been parking trucks near the schools. And there you can leave your phone for a dollar a day - or about $180 per year. The minute school is out students can go back to texting or being baffled by those new Apple maps. It's MORNING EDITION.

Copyright © 2012 National Public Radio. 

I will continue to take students cell phones, and just hope that if anything comes from me taking their phones it will be that they learn a little bit of respect.  However, before I finish this little rant I want to talk to the parents of these cell phone using students.  Why the heck are you texting your students in school?  That is the number one thing I hear from students the minute I take their cell phone - "My Mom was texting me!"  I say, "Your Mom can text?  Cool, but why the heck is she texting you?  Doesn't she know you are in school?  Come on???"

It's almost over in the student teaching world, (PRAISE THE GOOD LORD ABOVE) and I think I can manage to deal with cell phones for 29 more days...but if I can't...well you will know it was a "death by cell phone."  Put that one on my headstone!

Oh P.S.
Guess who joined the cool kids and got herself an iPhone/Smartphone.  Yours truly...the girl who pretends to suck spaghetti.  So appropriate for a blog post on how much I hate cell phones in the school.  Ha! ;)

Sho Nuff Suga! Nobody Likes a Whiner!

I'm a whiner...I'm a really bad whiner.

This needs to change.  And fast!

I wear on peoples nerves when I whine - who doesn't?  At this time I am seriously wearing on several people....do I dare say "this time" because it's been for a while now?  (Sorry all who have had to put up with me!)

Student teaching is making me whine...don't blame student teaching Libby!  YOU whined before that even started.

Once again...things are going to change around here, and they are going to change fast!

........

.....

.........

........


Sho Nuff Suga - Starting now I will have a "no whining" outlook on life, and I'm not going to wait for people to tell me to put my big girl pants on and to SHUT-IT-UP!

Sho Nuff Suga - Libby is going to find all the great things she DOES love about student teaching (and life) and will focus on those "great things."

Sho Nuff Suga - She (Me) will carry an attitude of gratitude and be grateful that she is where she is today, and not look back on the past.  Learn from the past and MOVE ON!

Sho Nuff Suga - I will accept the changes that have been given to me.  Change is for the better, and with my experience it is always a better choice in the end.

Sho Nuff Suga things in life like attitude, outlook, and WHINING are going to change.  Because nobody likes a whiner, and I don't want to be a whiner anymore!

Failure is not just acceptable, it's often essential.

I feel like I have failed!  But, as Randy Pausch would say, "Failure is not just acceptable, it's often essential."

• Almost umpteen years old and I don't even have a bachelors degree - in anything!!!
• Had a plan to graduate this May with a bachelors degree...not happening anymore.
• I rent a very tiny basement apartment - so I don't own!
• As of this very moment I am the poorest I have ever been in my umpteen years!!!
• Somehow I have two jobs (yes I got me a second job), possibly a third job coming up, yet all three put together don't even equal a full time work schedule???
• Lastly, I feel completely embarrassed to face just about anyone because I have nothing but sad/bad news to bare.  BASICALLY I SHOULD NOT BE IN THE PLACE THAT I AM!!!

So it is where I am today.  I sat around and boo hooed for two days straight when I got pulled from student teaching.  What good does that do me or anyone else?  First I even wondered why on earth they would have me START student teaching when we didn't even know my results of the Praxis test.  So, I started teaching.  Next thing I know - I'm done student teaching.  If I want to student teach again, and even graduate, then I wait until August, which puts off graduation until next May.  Before any of that takes place I need to retake this lovely Praxis exam.  Eighty dollars later I signed up to retake this lovely test on March 10, 2012.  I'm not going to stress, or dwell on this test.  I have several times I can retake it before August, so I'm just going to kick back and live my life.  If I am supposed to student teach it will happen.  If I am not then I will go to plan B.  Whatever plan B is?  

I ask myself, what is another failed attempt at school?  How long did I keep taking chemistry before I finally passed?  Don't answer that...it was way to many times!!!  But, I passed.  I eventually passed, and I will eventually pass the Praxis exam.  Until that time I am making use of my time here in Cedar City.  Time has been spent looking for a job, and I was blessed with a little cleaning job that will help supplement me until my summer job starts up on Grounds, yet again - thank goodness.  Life isn't going exactly how I had planned, but does it ever go as planned for anyone? 

I will take this failure and embrace it.  (I have no other choice.)  As I have just finished reading an encouraging book, "The Last Lecture," by the late Randy Pausch.  Reading this book gave me much assurance that things will work out.  Randy was an influential man during his time of teaching at a prestigious university, and reading his words makes me feel less selfish, and much less "woe is me."  For those who don't know who Randy Pausch was, he was a Professor at Carnegie Mellon University who gave a famous "Last Lecture" before he died of cancer.  This book could not have been a better book for me to pick up and read at this time in my life.  I soaked up every word of his book and kept a red pencil nearby so I could highlight many of his inspiring words.

• We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
• Never make a decision until you have to.
• Tenacity is a virtue, but it's not always crucial for everyone to observe how hard you work at something.
• The brick walls are there for a reason.  They're not there to keep us out.  The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show us how badly we want something.
• No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.  At the same time, it is often within your power to make them better.
• Too many people go through life complaining about their problems.  I've always believed that if you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out.
• I've found that a substantial fraction of many people's days is spent worrying about what others think of them.  If nobody ever worried about what was in other people's heads, we'd all be 33 percent more effective in our lives and on our jobs.

And lastly, 

• Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

I continue forward.  Life doesn't always go the way I had planned, but it's how I deal with those "out of plan" obstacles that will shape and mold me.  Yes I can sit around and cry about how I didn't pass my test, but crying over that test will not do any good for me.  I will get off my butt, and just move forward.  That's all I can do for now, and as I'm going forward I'll enjoy the experience, even though it's not what I wanted.

{Just incase I have to turn to plan B - I'm moving to Michigan.  I'm in love, and he is a weatherman with cute glasses!!!  And I'M NOT SEEING A WEDDING RING...........}

So...I "Deactivated" Facebook, Yet I Joined Pinterest

Remember how I deactivated Facebook a few months ago.  I say deactivated BECAUSE THEY WON'T LET ME JUST BE DONE WITH IT!!!  It will always be there for me, gee thanks Facebook, bless your heart.  So, even though I deactivated Facebook I have sadly found another website to suck all my time, Pinterest.

This lovely time sucking website makes you have to get invited to join, and way back in the month of May at my glorious book club we got talking about Pinterest.  I decided to come home and check it out.  I mean really, everyone was doing it.  As I perused the website I noticed this was a website that would really take my time.  Because I had some self control, back then, I was determined to stay off.  Obviously that didn't last long.  I kept being pestered by people to join, and I kept telling them I wouldn't because I have an addictive personality (maybe, I don't want to have an addictive personality though...) and I would spend every waking moment on this sight.

So it has become my life.  Why not?  I mean seriously, as most of you know, my life pretty much sucks right now, so why don't I just waste my time looking and dreaming about stuff I will some day make/do because I have saved it all on Pinterest???  Makes sense to me.  Okay, so I am not on there 24/7, but because the job market here in Cedar City is the pits, and going place to place is a waste of gas and time, and everyone tells me that to find a job now days, it's all "apply online."  Well, I am applying online, but when I need a break from this stupid job search I turn to Pinterest to ease my mind.

I'm not sure if I'll ever reactivate my Facebook, (for the record I had to activate it to join Pinterest, but I quickly deactivated once I joined) but until that day comes I have found a better use of my time.  And that use of time is perusing Pinterest for hours at a time.

Are you on Pinterest?  You are, how lovely.  I hope that you are "following" me.  Please take a moment to find me and follow my wishful thinking.

{fyi:  i got pulled from student teaching because that stupid praxis test i had to retake ended up landing me an even worse score then the first time!!!  this also means no graduating from college this spring, and i am also trying to find a job so i can just stay here and not move in with mommy & daddio - cause that can't be good...Dearest Lord, what are you trying to teach me...i'm about to break, and i'm pretty sure it's not going to be pretty when i do.}

"Last Christmas," and other Favorite Christmas Songs

First I want to say, go check out my lil Sis's blog because she did a fun, yet kind of hard Christmas quiz.

Second of all, last year I did a blog on all my favorite Christmas movies and music.  My Christmas movie list is still about the same.  However, I have been watching some really lame, cheese-y, and totally free Christmas movies on ABC Family...maybe I shouldn't have canceled my Netflix instant, and maybe I should stop renting really lame movies on Netflix like "My Idiot Brother."  Why do I feel the need to finish a movie even when it is freaking terrible???

I'm digressing here - I wanted to discuss my love for Christmas music since I only listen to it once a year, for one month only.  I start my listening on December first, and no sooner, no sooner, no sooner.  I never did understand these people who start listening months before.  Christmas music is terrific, and if you are like me and don't really get into the holiday season, music can really help ring it all in.

I have to rant first, and ask the question as to WHY some songs have been written, and have a huge following.  Some people should be locked up for a few months for writing terrible songs such as, "Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer" - a song about ones possibly drunk or dementia Grandmother getting hit by Santa and his reindeer, then being killed, is just terrible.  Great Christmas song people?  What song is next, let's talk about "Santa Baby" - every version known to man is sung annoyingly and nasally about some spoiled woman/girl who wants the most expensive gifts for Christmas.  Many versions specifically the one sang by Miss Piggy (I know right, I have actually heard this version) and another by Madonna are the worst!  I can only imagine that all the other versions especially by Brit (Britney Spears), and Kellie Picker, an American Idol contestant are just as bad!  Lastly, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" - what is this song really about?  Is this Mommy having an affair with a jolly, white haired man, or is the Daddy dressing up as Santa and the Mommy is getting all kinky down by the Christmas tree?  Seriously, why do they have to play these songs - they momentarily put me in a bad mood.  One last song that is equally terrible, but kind of bearable, only because it's my Christmas ring tone for my cell phone is "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't be Late)."  No question - dumb song.

Let's talk about what Christmas songs I adore!  One song in particular that is not your typical "hymn book," traditional song is "Last Christmas" by Wham!  I still am trying to figure out what this song is all about?  I'm assuming it's about a couple who dated one Christmas then the next year they are broken up, yet they see each other again the following Christmas and want to rekindle that once holiday romance?  Whatever it a may be, this song tops my charts!  I seriously put this song on repeat and just listen to it over and over for the whole month of December.  I never tire of it - weird, I know.  Thus far I have listened to the song 94 times according to my iTunes.  I even love every version of this song except for Taylor Swifts version - who does she think she is?  I know she is all pretty, writes her own music, and is just sweet as pie, but one thing she CAN'T do is sing "Last Christmas!"

Besides "Last Christmas" here is a list of some of my favorite songs this year.
Sinead O'Connor:: Silent Night
The Killers::  Boots (Yes this is a Christmas song)
Sufjan Stevens::  Joy to the World (and a bunch of their other songs - so folk!)
Justin Bieber::  The Christmas Song
Glee (this years album)::  Do You Hear What I Hear
Pink Martini:: White Christmas
Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds:: Christmas Song
The Bird and the Bee::  Carol of the Bells

And of course "Last Christmas." Sung by Wham!, Jimmy Eat World, and that Disney teen freak Ashley Tisdale - all who produce a great rendition of my most favorite Christmas song ever!!!

Throw Another Wrench in My Plans - I DARE YOU!

Why has my college career been nothing but disappointment?  I am supposed to student teach January 9th.  Nope, didn't pass my Praxis exam by two points.  TWO POINTS!  What on earth is this whole school journey supposed to be teaching me?????  I have about had it with all this.  Just once I want my plans to work out for me.  Just one itty, bitty, time.  I'm not asking for much here....All I want out of this life (right now) is a piece of paper saying I graduated college.  I don't even plan on teaching, but then, what IF I decided to later on down the road....

So, I trudge along.  I have to wait until January 14th to take the next Praxis exam - hope and pray I can pass it this second time around.  IF I do pass then I start student teaching February 1st.

I DARE YOU to throw another wrench in my plans.  Seriously, it's not like I haven't been through Hell already the last four years of school!!!!

Whatever!  I'll just keep going.  That's what I seem to do?  I mean really, what else do I have to work towards?

Thanksgiving & Black Friday BLISS.....

How was your Thanksgiving?  I told everyone, "it was just another day with a big meal."  I do have to say the high of my thanksgiving festivities was eating, OF COURSE, and having a white elephant gift exchange that has become a family tradition - with me receiving the BESTEST GIFT EVER!  A picture of my cousins husband in a swimsuit - totally scandalise!

Stud Muffin!

Basically what the day of giving thanks boils down to is that I am really grateful for food!  Between my Mommy and I, we made some dang good desserts.  She made her favorite southern cook - Paula Deen's gooey butter pumpkin cake (for me basically - caused I asked), and another favorite of Deen's an apple carmel cake.  I brought two made from scratch, from my Grandma Eastman's recipe, PeeeeeeCAN pie, and a new favorite - peaches and cream pie, also made from scratch.  The pie crusts were also made from scratch, and the whip topping was REAL.  Just saying - no fake stuff here!

Is this not the most beautiful pecan pie you have ever seen?

I feel I have finally perfected this divine dessert, and had people wanting more...those two pecan pies didn't last very long, and apparently two pies aren't enough for my glutenous family........The cousin, Summer, thinks that I have perfected my pie long ago, but I feel that this Thanksgiving I produced the best pecan pie ever.  From here on out my pecan pies are just going to get better!!!!  My Mother dearest has already put in an order for Christmas dinner.  It's a good thing we only eat these pies twice a year.

Doesn't she look scrumptious?  

Black Friday, Black Friday, Black Friday......
Let this be a lesson!  Black Friday is NOT bliss, Black Friday is HELL!  HELL, I tell you!  HELL!  Not only has this Satanist, greed filled, money hungry day taken over the world, but now it's seeping into one of our most wonderful holidays this country has to offer - Thanksgiving.  After hours of eating and visiting 9:00pm came along, and people started to leave.  I didn't want the party to end, so the Bro, the Sis and I decided to follow the rest of the family to see what all the hype was for this Black Friday madness.  We arrived at the local Wal-Mart about a quarter after 9:00pm.  The parking lot was packed to the rim, people were parking at the nearby Home Depot and walking to Wal-Mart (not that the Home Depot is very far away, but Wal-Mart's parking lot was stuffed as plump as a turkey - and on Thanksgiving day!) We walked into the store and found it was already chaos.  What on earth could be so appealing that people were literally sitting in lawn chairs down the isles?  I was in complete shock.  Luckily I had my iPod and started snapping pictures of this madness.  The Sis had actually came with some items in mind - DVDs.  We found our way to the "meat" department, yes meat department, where dozens of cardboard DVD cases were set up and being guarded by depressed Wal-Mart workers.  I walked up and down the isles of cases scanning the DVDs.  I figured that if the Sis was going to try to buy some DVDs then why not have her grab me some as she was going into the trenches???  DVDs really are a waste of money....ESPECIALLY when you have a Netflix account, but who can pass up $2.00 DVDs.  Yup, people sure are desperate for $2.00 DVDs - myself included, apparently?  So, for 45 minutes we stood guard of the precious cardboard cases, waiting patiently for the announcement over the intercom that we could start buying DVDs.  At exactly 10:00pm, Thanksgiving night, the first flood gates were opened, and people went ballistic.  I just sat back and watched, and of course video tapped the madness.  I got 3 out of the 4 DVDs that I JUST HAD TO HAVE...and as we were checking out the lady behind me with her arms full of junk, went through her stuff, and decided at the checkout what she wanted and didn't want. She had a DVD that I apparently HAD TO HAVE - "Crazy Stupid Love," remind me never to purchase a video without watching first.  Another first and last moment.  She said I could have it, and I ended up with four DVDs.  I will never, ever, ever support the Black Friday Madness ever again.  I felt so bad for the workers, and when I came upon one I would apologize saying, "I'm sorry I'm here, I'm sorry you have to work, I will never do this again."  They would only look at me weird.  I guess when you sign up to work for Wal-Mart it's a given that you will most likely be working on Black Friday.

Worn out and traumatized I still had to work on Black Friday.  I went to work at the local department store Christensen's.  (Same holiday job I had last year wrapping gifts.)  I'm grateful to have a second job this holiday season, and I truly love my 82 year old co-worker Jerry.  She makes this job very bearable.  However, she was out of the state over Thanksgiving and it ended up being just me wrapping gifts for eight hours.  Not miserable, but it's funny how people turn into amazingly RUDE people on this particular day.  I guess it's just a joy of working retail/customer service.

As my eight hour day was coming to an end my last customer of the day came to my wrapping station wanting her gifts wrapped.  I was helping some other folk.  She seemed impatient and just said she would leave her goods and she would be back later.  Before she took off I wanted to make sure I knew how and what to wrap her stuff in.  She had two piles and placed her hand on the one pile and said this pile in the red paper, the other pile in the blue.  That was it.  I finished with the current customers, then started and finished her packages before she got back.  She arrived back a few minutes before I was to leave, and asks where her packages were.  They were clearly in front of her, but she was confused.  She say's to me, "I didn't have two packages?"  I said, "Yes you did."  Then she has some sort of light bulb go off when she realizes I packaged the one pile in ONE BOX and the other pile in another box.  She then proceeds to swear at me and yell at me.  I immediately apologize, because apparently the customer is always right, and my job can be replaced in the drop of a hat.  As I am sincerely apologizing I ask her if I can re wrap and package the stuff for her.  "NO!"  She say's.  "Just give me some boxes and paper and I'll go home and do this myself!"  At this point I so badly wanted to remind her that the service I am doing is a FREE SERVICE from the store, and seriously you look like an idiot right now, but again I am truly sorry for this inconvenience.  As I continue the apologies I turn around to my wall of wrapping paper, take the boxes she will be using, and act like I am measuring out paper.  Little does she know I am shorting her on wrapping paper, and she will get home to wrap her precious gifts and not have enough paper!  Hee, hee, hee.

Then next day was a little bit better.  Although, I did start off the day with a woman who apparently didn't think I knew how to wrap.  So, she took it upon herself to come around the counter and wrap the present herself.  I just threw my hands up and saying "whatever" - stood back and let her do her thing.  She has never worked at Christensen's, she just was older and wiser apparently????  Great example she was to her granddaughter in toe!  Seriously people, really you act like this?  I'm amazed at the kind of people this world is producing.  I'm not trying to say that I am perfect by any means.  But, I feel like I have some sort of decency that I would not act as stupid/rude as most of the people I encountered during this Black Friday Bliss....

Lesson learned - NEVER AGAIN WILL I SHOP ON THANKSGIVING NIGHT, or Black Friday.  As one lady said, "Are we really this poor that we need to be out amongst all of this madness?"  No, I am not that poor that I need to spend my time fighting for DVDs or anything else for that matter.

No More Facebook, and No More Netflix

I've spent some time, recently, in the decision of whether or not I should cancel Netflix....AND Facebook!  Well, the decision has been made and I am no longer a member of Facebook, and I canceled my instant queue on Netflix.  Wow - amazing huh?  That's what I think.  Why did I do this - well, there are several reasons.  Let's start with Netflix first shall we.

During the summer, most of you Netflix users like myself, received an email explaining a price increase.  Boy oh boy, did this shoot me over the edge.  Yes, most of you saw/heard my outrage on this matter.  A few months later they sent another email stating that they would be changing the way they are doing things on Netflix.  This was the final straw that broke the camels back.  BUT, I still decided to stay with them.  Although, I should be super busy with school this last semester, I have found that having both the DVD, and instant viewing were ending up being too much money, and a waste of my time.  I was using the instant queue a lot more then the DVDs.  All of my time was going to stupid shows, like the TV shows Felicity (which I sadly sat through all four seasons - good thing they canceled because I was about to cancel) and My So Called Life which I still can't seem to get through and it's ONLY one season.  It took some time and thought in the matter, but after my Sis took the plunge and canceled her instant queue I decided I should follow her footsteps and do the same.  She canceled due to wasting too much time also.  It feels good to cut that out of my life, for the time being.  The great thing about Netflix is that any time I want to go back to my old ways I can, and they are willing to always take me back with open arms.  Seven more months till graduation, and my gift to myself is adding back my instant queue on Netflix.

Facebook and I have had a love hate relationship for some time.  It took me some time to join, and it was late one night around 1:00am when I took the plunge.  I knew what I was getting myself into at the very beginning.  I joined and loved it.  I thought, this is great, I am able to keep in touch with those people I have met in Alaska, and with those from my years of serving a mission in Kentucky and Ohio.  Recently, I have found myself on this website all the time.  I am not doing anything productive when I am on the website, I spend hours looking, and looking, and looking.  I rarely comment, and when I do my email is flooded with notifications.  However, the notifications stopped suddenly when Facebook made some new changes to their website.  It was a breath of fresh air for me, but not receiving those emails was making it hard for me to know what was going on in Facebook land.  As I was not knowing via email notifications, it made me hop on to Facebook more frequently, and thus I would spend more hours just looking.  I guess what it comes down to is I have no self control?

As I was perusing Facebook a few weeks back (when I should've been doing homework), I found that my cousins wife Shellie wasn't on Facebook anymore.  I was shocked and concerned.  It was late, so I decided that the next day I would contact her and ask her what was going on.  She informed me that it had become too much for her.  Her constant Facebook perusing was getting out of hand, so she canceled her Facebook.  Way to go Shellie, for setting the stage for me.  After much thought and serious consideration I have done the same.  It wasn't like I made the decision over night.  I thought about all the pro's and con's Facebook causes me, and then decided to cancel.  No more offending other people by comments I leave (which I had done recently), no more tagging pictures of people who don't want pictures tagged, and no more wasting my time spending countless hours looking into the lives of people I care and don't care about.  Now that sounds rude, but most the people I'm friends with on Facebook already are people I have contact with by other means. The other people are just those who haven't seen me in years and wanted a quick look into my life right now, and by so doing they had to "add me as their friend."  All along I should've listened to my Bro, "Facebook is stupid, haven't you heard of a phone?"  Yes little Bro, you are right, I have the ones I love dearly right at my phone, or email.  What else do I need?

There it is - I canceled Netflix (just instant queue) and Facebook.  Now I'm loving life even more...or finding more to do that doesn't involve me wasting my time!

I'm UPSET - With Every Right to Be Upset. Or, Maybe I'm Just Depressed.

I'm not here to be made fun of because I know that a lot of you are ready with jokes.  I'm not here to ask for encouragment, but to try to blog out my feelings with hopes to find some answers.  Maybe this is something that shouldn't even be placed on a blog, because people will make fun of me.  But, maybe something is to be learned from all of this?  Today was a very discouraging sad day.  I had to withdraw from my second chemistry class.  It was either withdraw now, or take a failing grade at the end of the semester.  I decided a withdraw would look better than another "F" for chemistry.  I didn't so much cry at this VERY DISCOURAGING NEWS, however, my voice cracked for a few moments as I talked to my Professor and Mommy on the phone, soon after finding out my recent test score.

I know of one thing I did wrong.  I went into this second chemistry with the thought that, "I just passed the first chemistry - finally, here I am all great and marvelous, I can do this second round - piece of cake!"  Oh, tis not so.  After just about three weeks in I was drowning, and even meeting with my professor wasn't enough of a life raft.  I was pretty much done for.  Even after three weeks into the semester my outlook on chemistry was not looking pretty.  After talking to one of my dear friends she told me to take the money I would use for some trip (cause she knows I like to travel...) and put it all on a tutor.  I thought that because I was a "non-traditional" student and SUPER POOR I would be able to get a tutor for free.  NOPE!  If I wanted a tutor it meant I needed to pay out of my pocket for one.  I guess I'm grateful for my tax return cause that's where that little extra cash is going to.  With that said, I bought me a tutor that was short lived, and obviously didn't help???  So, with much humility I took my friends advice and the very next day I purchased me a tutor at the cheap price of $10.00 an hour.  We had been meeting about four times a week and because of this upcoming test met all during my THREE DAY WEEKEND!  Now that was a sacrifice.  We (my tutor and I) had been trying to play catch up the last couple of weeks, and were doing fairly well.  By the time the three day weekend came along we were caught up, and were just going to study all we could over the weekend.  We met for about four hours on Saturday.  And then Monday we met for three hours.  He is married and does have another life, so that was all the time I could really get out of him.  My Mommy, bless her heart, even mysteriously got my Bishops phone number and called him to see if he would give me a blessing.  Then she went on to tell me that she had placed my name in 10 different temples prayer roll.  My sister told me to start re-reading The Power of Positive Thinking, and even my advisor at school who is "not a praying woman" said she would pray for me.  Well, what good ANY of that did.  Although, I appreciate every ones thoughts and prayers, they went unheard, so I guess it wasn't in the cards for me to pass, once again.

What more am I supposed to do!  Yes, I got a little bit of a late start with getting help in chemistry, but my tutor and I pulled through - so we thought.  We studied, I studied more than I probably did in the first chemistry.  I'm not a terribly bad person, I'm not perfect (like to think I am), I'm tired of being here in K-town/Cedar City, everyone around me is moving on with their lives, yet here I sit stagnate, not moving anywhere close to forward!  I'm very envious to those who are done with school, married, having kids, progressing in the kingdom, yet nothing much is coming from me.  I'm tired of running into people, family, whomever, and the first thing they ask me is, "What's going on with your life?"  When I say, "Oh, well you know, NOT MUCH!  And you?"  "Yes, I can see, you're progressing in life - good for you!  Apparently I'm not progressing AT ALL!"

I'm trying to do good things with my life.  I'm trying to do what my Mission President told me to do!  When him and I had my final "exit" interview he told me to go home and do three things.  He said, go home and get an education - go to school - since that was a failure before my mission.  Attend Institute - since I had never attended before my mission.  And lastly, he said go home and attend a singles ward, since I hadn't done that before my mission either.  He said that if I did these three things everything would fall into place.  Well, so much for that!  I'm no longer in a singles ward, I'm attending Institute, but will now be graduating that before I actually graduate the real school.  As for school - it has been nothing but a MAJOR HEADACHE from the day I got home from my mission.  

What am I to do?  Well, I've thought about dropping out.  What good is that going to do me?  NO GOOD!  I've thought about changing my major, but I'm steps away from fishing the program I am already in.  Lastly, I've thought about just sticking with it.  So, that is what I'm going to do.  Sadly, I'm going to TRY to push forward.  I have withdrawn from my chemistry class but can still attend the class. I will try to soak up as much as I can, then this summer I will register for the chemistry class again.  My tutor is all lined up and ready to go for the summer semester.  What else can I do?  My life just SUCKS - and I don't use that word very often, but right now I'm upset - with every right to be upset.  Or, maybe I'm just depressed, and this hopefully shall pass???

Christmas Card Catastrophe

I'm starting to panic because it's almost Christmas and I haven't got my Christmas cards sent out. I wanted to do something similar to last years - take the poem, "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and tweak it to my life this year. But, because of stress from school, working two jobs (now just the one), and trying to just stay sane I haven't got my cards done and I'm FREAKING OUT!!! I want people to enjoy my card, but will they???? I got my picture with Santy, and the envelopes are all addressed, but the poem. The BLASTED POEM is still in the works! Sheesh...

Last years Christmas card - it was a joke, I hope you got that.

The Night Before Libby’s Christmas

By Liberty Williams

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Libby was STILL single, and searching for something called a spouse!

The lingerie was hung by the dryer with care,

In hopes that a man soon would be there!

Libby nestled herself all snug in her bed,

With visions of men dancing away in her head.

With pajamas from Gap,

She had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter!

She sprang from her bed to see what the matter?

Looking out the window on the new fallen snow,

‘Twas a limo of men driving up from below.

The driver drove faster than Edward in Twilight

As he shouted the men’s names in hopes she might find her white knight!

Now, Blue eyes! Now, Tall, Dark, and Handsome, Now Edward.

Now, Clever! Now, Active! Now, Wealthy and Funny!

Right before her eyes, she was ready to call one “My Honey!”

Now hurry, now hurry, now hurry one and all!

So, up to the house the men came running,

They were all just so divinely stunning!

When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,

But the twinkling of a diamond, which made her stand up and cheer!

She knew in a moment this must be the one,

Could this be true, could she really be done?

No more searching, wishing, hoping, and dreaming,

Single no more was beginning to look so pleasing.

With a wink of his eye, and a smile to make one melt,

He then began to knelt…

When out of the blue such a beeping arose,

As her alarm clock blared, and her dream disappeared.

Libby woke to a Christmas filled with despair,

In hopes that next year, she might have a prayer!

But until then may your home be filled with cheer,

As I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I Land in a Pile of Poop and Seem to Come Up Smelling Like Roses

A couple of weeks ago during my little, "my life is so rough" moment I was hanging out one night with my Cuz Summer. During our little "hang out" we went to the one and only department store in Cedar City called Christensen's. I was pretty much bored out of my mind while The Cuz went shopping. During my "bored" moment I decided since it was getting close to Christmas and I had been thinking about a holiday job I would ask someone at the store if they were hiring. I saw (and knew) that Christensen's had a "wrapping center" in the back of the store. I decided to go back and just ask if they would be hiring for holiday help. At the time, I was REALLY all about it, for working thru the holidays. But, as the weekend came to a close I was like, "Naaaa, I'm going to enjoy my Christmas holiday rather than work." However, during my shopping time with my Cuz I had talked to one of the owner's wife and daughter about working the wrapping counter through the holiday's. They were just as sweet as suga' to me, and really made it sound like they would hire me on the spot. (I also talked to the Manager that night as well, him telling me to turn in a my resume.) Well, like I said, the weekend came and I decided against turning in my resume to this department store. As my luck, I guess, would have it, two weeks later that daughter, Amy, who I had spoke to that night came and found me on campus at SUU. She had apparently seen me working in the Testing Center (so glad she was one person I had been nice too) and left a message for me to call Christensen's. The message was that they wanted to hire me, but couldn't seem to find my resume that I had turned in. Hello, I didn't turn in a resume! So, I decided that I must REALLY need this job through the holidays. I printed off my resume and immediately went in. I talked to one of the Assistant Managers and first thing he said was, "Sorry we lost your resume, but we would love to hire you for the position of a holiday gift wrapper." I explained, "Well...um...you never lost my resume because I never turned one in..." He was in complete shock, and said, "The job is yours, if you want it." I told him, "I really want it, now, and I'm sorry I never turned in a resume. And, don't think that I'm a complete aloof person." He just laughed and thought it was funny that they had to send one of their workers to stalk me on campus. So, here is to another job on my resume. I already worked the "Black Friday" and absolutely loved all 8 hours of it! This has got to be my new favorite job ever. I know what you are thinking...give Libby a couple weeks at this job and she'll probably rant about something on her blog. I'm here to say, don't count on it yo's! One last thing, this job gets tips. Whoever tips gift wrapping people, I know seriously. (Not the Mormons...cause you all know how I feel about those 10 percent tippers.) Anyhow, I'm not expecting any tips from anyone, but I do know that from working this job if I ever have anyone gift wrap then I'm giving them a tip. That's just how I roll!

So with school done and now plenty of time on my hands I am completely grateful for this new wrapping job. As my Mommy always likes to say to me, "You seem to always think you land in a pile of poop, (she doesn't say that though) but in the end come up smelling like roses!" This time, I have to agree!

Very Bad, No Good, Horrible, Longest Week EVER!

If I have ever had a bad week, this last week was the icing on the cake. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but seriously everything that could've went wrong WENT WRONG!

Monday Nov. 8 through Sunday Nov. 14, 2010

1. Drove to work freezing cold, when just as I pull into the parking lot I realize that instead of having my heater on full blast I had my air conditioning on full blast???? How on earth do I miss that?

2. Why doing yoga in the "downward facing dog" pose I did something to my heel, and am mad I don't have insurance. I guess I'll just hope that the pain works it's way out...

3. Couldn't handle the stupid college students, and got fired up with one student that wouldn't follow our rules at the testing center. (Students are suppose to bag up their stuff and take it in with them before testing - this student wouldn't, so I told him very rudely that I hope his stuff gets stolen. He then said, "Do you have a knife so you can stab me!")

4. Was so fed up with students that I left work early, and missed out on two hours of minimum wage! (Yes, I got someone to cover my time.)

5. Tried to make homemade caramel, and with one moment unattended I burnt the caramel and had to throw it all away.

6. Volunteered to make refreshments for my "older" institute class, and this was not the week to volunteer and use my time to make refreshments!

7. Had my email hacked into (and I'm hoping you were smart enough to not click on the link I was sending you).

8. Because of the email hacking I'm still debating whether I should change my email, but I don't want to have the work of switching over...

9. Again because of the "hacking" I was trying to switch email accounts and DELETED my precious blog for about thirty minutes. It was seriously GONE from the WORLD WIDE WEB for thirty minutes!!! Yes, I actually cried. However, my cry only lasted about two minutes.

10. Tried for an hour to steal the Internet from my neighbors so that I could video chat with a dear friend, to no avail I gave up and watched stupid wedding shows on TLC.

11. My one day to sleep in this week was not allowed due to working - but I made $65.00 by sitting for 3 hours, so look, my week was starting to pick up some...

12. Ripped a hole in the crotch of my favorite pair of jeans (that I only paid $1.50 for at Down East Outfitters - so it's not like I'm out a lot of money).

13. Taught my "Gospel Principles" lesson for my 4th time, and am starting to wish I wasn't. This week got WAY off topic, and I have a feeling that it's going to continue to get off topic with "these people" that "have" to come to my class each week.

14. Had to go to my 30-45 singles Fireside last night...Had to make some sort of dessert...Had nothing but cake mix, so I made the "cake box Oreo cookies." During the process I was trying to melt a stick of REAL butter and melted it all over the microwave. Ew, now that really erks me to waste a real stick of butter! Cause butta ain't cheep yo's!

LASTLY....

15. During the process of making cookies I was washing dishes and talking on the phone, cause I'm all about multitasking! However, I dropped my phone into the sink full of dishes and soap. My phone actually is kind of water proof...but I still took it apart and placed it into a bowl of rice. (I have a strong testimony of rice drying out cell phones...I know without a shadow of a doubt it works!!!!)

I know, I know, I know. Gee's, I sure can complain a lot! But, in all that very bad, no good, horrible, longest week ever I survived, and am still here to say, BRING IT ON! I can handle just about anything these days...hope your week was a lot better than mine!

What's Going on With Me?

What's going on with me? Nothing much. Nothing much AT ALL! Gee's, my life is so exciting that it comes to me trying to blog about it. Number one concern I have at this moment is my hair. I cut my hair at the beginning of the summer and then went a little shorter by mid summer. However, now that my funds are cut (get it, "cut" like I have to get my hair cut, and my budget is cut.................oh my...) due to being in school I'm having issues with my hair as it's a short/cute/fun cut, which means I need to stay up on it. But, as I always find a way to have money for food (going out with friends) I always seem to find money to get my hair cut. However, I will have to sacrifice the color. Such a sad life I lead...

You want to know what else is not going on in my life? School. I'm back in school. Yes, really! I know, I know, I should've been graduated a long time ago. And yes, my sister and everyone else on this planet will probably graduate before I do. I have heard all the jokes...I should have a PhD by now. Nope, just trying to get a stinking Bachelors Degree and having a HELL of a time trying to get the DANG thing. Well Libby, what's holding you from graduating? Well, since you ask, it's called Chemistry, and apparently I am lacking the chemical balance (no pun intended) in my brain to understand chemistry. I don't know if I am really lacking some chemical thing in my brain, I'm just saying. Can't really afford a trip to the doctor at this moment, and surely not going to ask him to check my brain for "why I can't pass chemistry." This is my fifth time in the first half of the full year of chemistry that I need to take to graduate. I thought for sure I had it last semester when I was taking my chemistry class for the fourth time. I was so close. My Professor told me all I needed to get on the final was a 33 to pass with a C, and guess what I got. 29. 29, really? Really. So, here I am another semester into the chemistry, and actually feel pretty good about it. I've been meeting with my very condescending, PhD carrying, no social skills Professor, who at least gives me a very tiny inkling of hope with the statement, "You're keeping your head above water this time around, so that's good." "Oh go to Hell!" is what I want to tell him. He could care less if I pass this class, at least that's I how I feel when I go in and meet with him. I'll tell you what, when the end of the semester comes and I pass this gosh awful class (BECAUSE I'M GOING TO PASS THIS TIME!) I will not run to him thanking him for his help! I will definitely be leaving an "end of the semester" evaluation on him - stupid professor. I just love how he thinks he is so great and marvelous because he has a PhD in chemistry, and me, his little peon student has nothing. (Side note - I'm not ragging on anyone who does have a PhD because I think that is SO AWESOME, and if I wasn't struggling so much to get my bachelors I would love to go on and get a PhD...SOMEDAY. Please don't misunderstand - people with PhD's are totally awesome in my book!) If he keeps treating all of his students like this he may not have any students to treat. Well, we are at 10 weeks with only 6 more to go. I am studying and spending all my free time in the tutoring center, so what else can I do? Pray - been there, done that. All I can say is that it's in the Lord's hands, and if he wants me to pass so that I CAN FINALLY MOVE ON IN MY LIFE, then he'll let me pass. IF (big IF) he wants me to stay here another round, then so be it. I'm not going to stop until I pass this class. Believe me, I am ready to pass this class and move on.

Speaking of moving on...let's move on to the next subject shall we? As you can tell I get really fired up about my chemistry, and that I'm still here in Cedar... New subject. Want to hear what happened recently? Well, the church did some changing of their whole "Singles Ward" stuff, and since I'm up there in age my Singles Ward got dissolved, so now I have been put into a "Family Ward." Really, you're going to throw that at me now...I can't seem to pass chemistry, so let's hit your romantic chemistry (that I struggle with, obviously, CAUSE I'M SINGLE) and put you into a family ward where you won't meet anyone single. Okay, so I was a little bummed about it at first, but now I think I'm starting to like it. I've been going to the family ward for two months now, and I just officially got me some new callings. I thought for sure a family ward would not have much need with me, but they have put me to work. I met with the Bishop last week and first thing he said, "I have two callings for you. The one is inspired, the other...well, not so inspired. You can refuse the not inspired one if you feel you don't want it, or have the time." Well shoot, just tell me already what these callings are? The inspired calling is that I am now (because they just sustained me) the Gospel Essential teacher. Crazy I know! SO CRAZY! Don't misunderstand me, I'm fine with teaching and being in front of people, but I'm scared poopless about teaching the gospel topics. This class is for all the new members, and all the members who are just coming back into activity after being less active or disfellowshipped. The Bishop then scares me by saying, "Are you going to be able to handle off topic questions, and lessons getting off subject." I confidently told him yes. I said that I will hope that the spirit is very much with me so that I can answer their questions, and KEEP US ON SUBJECT. I also said that I would tell the students that if I don't know an answer I'll try to find out and get back to them with the answer the following week. He was glad that I accepted the calling and has all confidence that I can do my job without fail. Well thanks Bish, I hope I can have the confidence you have??? Calling number two - uninspired. I'm also the Ward 30-45 Single Representative. GAG!!! Apparently a few weeks back when I attended the Relief Society Broadcast Dinner and Show I met this lady who is the Stake Single Leader. We chatted it up through dinner and she got my information so that she could inform me about up coming single events. Little did I know she apparently went after my Bishop, long story short I got roped into this calling. It won't be so bad. There is only about 4, maybe 5, single folk in my ward, including myself, who I have to try to round up twice a month for a monthly fireside, and family home evening. Shouldn't be that bad. I'm more worried about the Gospel Essential teaching. Yeah, I have taught primary and was Relief Society President (in a Singles Ward - which doesn't really count), but to teach the basic gospel principles - it's going to stretch me. Bring it on is what I say!!!

Lastly, I'm still working at the lovely little Testing Center on campus, and I am stunned daily at how stupid these college students are. My patience is tried each day, and I even threaten my boss that I'm going to quit, but she won't let me. (Besides, I can't quit - I need the money.) I do like the perks of giving ACT Tests on random weekends. Dang that money is good for just sitting on my butt for four hours watching teenage kids sweat through their test.

All and all I guess you can say my life is REALLY not that bad. There are more sad and unfortunate things going on with others that my piddlie little problems don't even make a drop in a bucket! I just have to keep telling myself I only have 3 more semesters, or a year and half then I will be graduated and on to the next destination. Hopefully my teaching jobs will take me far away on to a new adventure, struggles, wards, callings, boys, marriage, and whatever. The sky is the limit, and I have never enjoyed being single more than now. Seriously, I really mean that!!!

Texting at Church!!!!

Here comes another "soap box" moment from me. It's a lot of reading...so if you can't stay focused then don't read it, and don't comment telling me it "was a lot of reading!!!"

Oh how I hate texting at church! A couple of years ago in one of my many single wards, one Sunday over the pulpit the member of the Bishopric read a statement from "higher authority" about leaving your cell phones at home, or in the car for the 3 hour block. I will admit that I had occasionally taken my iPod to church to play games...and used the excuse that my scriptures are on my iPod. However, at church, because it can be boring at times, I would get distracted and end up playing one of my totally fun games. I would feel bad because people would see me, and I'm sure they thought, "look at that girl on her cell phone texting." Well peep's I wasn't texting, but I wasn't reading my scriptures either. Since this statement about leaving your cell phones at home I took it to heart, and did just what that "higher authority" said. Now listen, I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means. You can think that I am, but I am FAR FROM IT! However, I am trying to work towards perfection, and feel that this is a start by leaving my cell phone in my car. It's 3 hours people - 3 hours!!!

I go off on my soap box because of what happened today in my institute class. I am trying to graduate from institute - gag, I know. To graduate I need to take a full year of the Book of Mormon. In all my college/institute years I have never taken a full year of the Book of Mormon. Crazy, I know? I have taken a full year of "Dating and Courtship" and well, you can all see where that has gotten me. 30 and single...or am I??? Ahhhh - let's stay on track here! So, in my institute class today my teacher read us an article straight from the SUU Journal (SUU's Newspaper) about texting in Church. I was blown away! As he was reading this I was looking around to my fellow (church going) classmates when guess what they were doing, playing on their cell phones. Come on people!!! Well, hopefully it touched someone in class today, besides me.

So, after class I went on to SUU's website and searched the archives for this awesome article. I want all to read this article, and to strive to leave your cell phone at home when attending church. I say these things...AMEN YO's!

Do you want to see more of my rants??? Apparently I have a few...

Are College Students Really That Stupid???

I just Can't Seem to Let it Go

Learn From These People

Reasons Why I Shouldn't Bartend

Dating Stinks...I'll Leave it at That???

If you have young children DO NOT TAKE THEM TO THE MOVIE THEATER!!!

I Deserve an A+ and by Damn I'm getting an A-

Doing Homework Among Others

Sunday-worshipper finds texting in church distracting

By Asher Swan

Monday, September 6, 2010

“Keep the sabbath day holy.” What does that mean nowadays? Does it mean you don’t go shopping and buy your necessities? Or could it mean don’t go watch that borderline-not-okay movie at the theatre with your friends?

From my understanding, Sunday is a day we, as members of a religion, spend supposedly resting and appreciating the blessings from which we are given.

Now don’t get me wrong — there are a multitude of activities and gatherings besides Sunday that offer a time to reflect and pray with loved ones and friends, but because Sunday is the “all -important day,” I would think people would treat it as such.

Now let me get this straight. I am a Latter-day Saint myself — I’m not the most practicing Latter-day Saint, but I do have a strong belief in the religion.

I went to church for the first time in a long time a few weeks ago and I was enjoying a talk by one of the many missionaries in the ward and his belief in the Lord.

The man was crying and bearing his testimony and to my amazement, I looked down my pew to see six or seven people in this singles ward, all of them in some kind of computer-screen daze, having a conversation with someone outside the walls of this haven we call church. The same thing was happening to a lot of other people in other pews.

They were texting incessantly; some were even playing games. It was shocking because I, as an inactive member, assume the people who go to church adamantly follow its teachings.

They could surely step away from their phones for a minute and listen to this missionary tell his story and relate his love for the gospel, but in return all he got were the tops of members heads and mediocre smiles as he sat down and wiped his tears from his heartfelt moment.

Is that fair? Is that right? I thought when we go to church we are there for a reason.

Maybe we are in need of some uplifting — I was — and so I went somewhere I thought I could receive that but in all actuality it was very much a downer.

I began to ask people if they keep the sabbath day holy and if so, how and why?

I felt the answer I was receiving was slightly varied. Some people agreed with me — being in church is more important than contact with friends. Others admitted they took their phone to chat when “it gets boring.”

This thinking let my mind wander to the thought, “are you here in this building because you want to be, or because you feel obligated due to community pressures and the way you were raised?” To stop going could mean other people’s judgements and opinions would be thrown around. Rather than deal with those opinions, I wondered if people go to save face.

For all members of a church and faith, not just Latter-day Saints, churches are free to the public and sometimes the person next to you might be there for reasons you don’t know.

So put the phone down, be in the moment and “keep the sabbath day holy.”

The people around you aren’t the only ones watching. Look up.

Asher Swan is the art editor for the University Journal. He can be reached at aswan@suunews.com.

If you would like to leave the author of this article a comment go here!