Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lessons Learned in Hawaii

Lessons learned in Hawaii translates into what not to do when you're in Hawaii - learn from my mistakes and you'll be just fine when you flit off to this tropical state:  PARADISE!

Know that you don't always get "leied" when visiting the state.  I never got "leied" when I was there!!!  Not once I tell you!

Yes, the tropical fish that you snorkel with do swim in SALT water, not fresh water???  

When ordering Halibut (one who has spent many summers in Alaska...) do know that it is a WHITE fish and that you should not be surprised when it comes to the table and you wonder why on earth this SALMON you ordered is so WHITE???  You ordered Halibut BLONDIE - not SALMON!!!  Salmon wasn't even on the menu!!!

When being chased by a sea turtle (a huge one, mind you) do not scream SHARK!!!  Especially when there are LOT'S of people around...I didn't yell shark, but I screamed long and loud enough that people thought there was something more than a friendly sea turtle.  

When the boat has a designated time that it is leaving, say 5:00pm sharp that does not mean you can be back at a quarter to five.  That means the boat is sailing away at 5:00pm and you better pray you can jump from the dock onto the stairs that are being pulled away.  Basically we damn near missed the boat in Kauai - I almost became a resident of the island.

Lastly, when applying sunscreen make sure you get it EVERYWHERE...There is nothing like a sunburn that looks like you are wearing white panties...the sad thing is you can even see my new "pantie line" through my g's - who's looking!?!?  

Now if you follow my rules you should be able to have a safe, and enjoyable time in Hawaii.  But who say's this doesn't at least make for a good laugh?  Enjoy, and Aloha!!!


Lucashell said...

I heard that about the ship leaving! I have always wondered how it works if they do leave you? How do you get your things? And how much money would you end up spending to get back home?

Anonymous said...

I would think, after spending a few summers in Alaska, you would be a fish expert...

Anisa said...

Apparently you have to pay money to get "leid." And those big sea turtles are awesome, but a little intimidating.