Thursday, December 10, 2009

Are College Students Really THAT Stupid?

Yes, yes they are! I have been working on campus now for a year, in the Testing Center. I love my job; I get paid to do homework, and talk with my boss about how stupid college students are. A disclaimer here...I'm going to rant, and I'm sure it will please you to know that my attitude has gotten some complaints at work, but they love me too much to let me go - I'm just telling these fellow students how it is. I thought Mommy and Daddy didn't hold your hand in college...Oh yep, they still do apparently???

(Students know all about the Testing Center because it is posted on the SUU website - it answers every question possible, so there should be no reason for a student to not know all that is required for taking tests at the Testing Center.) When reading this please don't get butt hurt, I am a STUDENT, and believe me, I do some pretty stupid things even at college.

Working at the Testing Center:

* When coming to take a test I would think it's common sense to show up with a pencil. You really don't have a want to borrow a pencil? No, you cannot borrow a pencil because then you will continue to take advantage of borrowing a pencil every time you come and test. However, YOU CAN BUY a pencil. Oh, you don't have a quarter. Sorry Charlie, you're out of luck and I'll be here when you are fully prepared to come back. See you soon. Wink! After sending him on his way I turn to my boss who is just shaking her head in disgust that students are so on top of it, she then say's, "What college student doesn't carry a pencil?"

* You are here to take a test...who is your professor? You don't even know what your professors name is. Do you want to call Mommy and ask her and then let me know so I don't give you the wrong test?

* Along with not knowing your professor you don't even know what your class is? Okay, it's Economics - that's a start! Well, there are several different Economic classes, do you want 2010, 3010, etc. Get your poo together.

* Are you really going to sit here and argue with me about the type of calculator. Your professor said a non graphing calculator. Here is a picture of a graphing calculator and here is a picture of a non graphing calculator. What do you not understand? (I have to say this caused many of arguments, students just want to argue until they get their way. If a teacher told us a non graphing calculator then that is what you are to use unless you go and talk to your professor - Seesh!)

* The day after a test is completed don't try to come in and take a test. You are here to take the Math 1010 tests with Professor John Doe. Well Sunshine, that test closed yesterday, and to top it off you had a whole week to come in and take that test. Unless you were on your death bed I don't see why you couldn't make it in until now.

* It gets me every time. "Excuse me Darling, do you want credit for this test you just took?" With a dumbfounded look on her face, "What?" "I said, do you want credit for this test you just took?" Very smartly she say's back, "Yeah - do you think I'm an idiot, of course I want credit!" "Well Sister, you could start by putting your name on the exam." "Oh, and you have a nice day, you're welcome." I get so tired of that, so now when I am handing out tests I look them in the eye and very sternly say, "DON'T FORGET TO PUT YOUR NAME ON THE EXAM." I even have gone so far to go into the testing room, and in big letters, print on the board that they face, "Don't forget to write your name on the exam." So far 9 out of 10 always put their name on the exam.

* To got along with not putting your name on the test...Many of the professors like to reuse their tests, therefore, the students are NOT ALLOWED to write on the test. Here is your test, and for another reminder, DO NOT write on the test. Test is done, test comes back, test has writing on it. That's just grand, thanks for listening.

* And lastly, if you have a cell phone (curse the cell phone!) make sure it's turned off! Not on vibrate, not on silence, but TURNED OFF! This is the best, a student who had previously fought with me about the calculator, and has been testing here numerous times this semester came into to take a test last week. Apparently 10th time is a charmer with him? I ask nicely to make sure the cell phone is turned off. 15 minutes later as I am in the testing room (where it is silent) I hear the song of some hip hop artist singing away and the hand of the young man reaching for his pocket. Caught ya - Nice!!! You're out, see ya! The rules say, if your cell phone goes off why testing you will be asked to leave. Maybe next time he'll get it right.

I really do love my job, but I just thought with work coming to an end for three weeks I would share some of my favorite things about this job. Did I say I get to do homework while I work, that part is my favorite!


Jessie said...

I remember waiting to take a test in the testing center at Dixie and the girl in front of me got into an argument with one of the workers about her calculator. How does someone forget to put their name on their test or any assignment for that matter?

Lisa said...

Loved it as always. I read it to Celeste and we laughed together! People really are such idiots!

Anisa said...

You and your novels. Who wants to read a post that doesn't have pictures. Honestly, I don't know why you have to get so mad at other people. You're a blond. Don't you forget things sometimes? Have you never forgotten a pencil? Have you never forgotten to put your name on your paper? Sometimes we just forget the obvious! I'm sure it equals my job in the tutoring center where I could accidentally look at porn on the internet. I got paid to tutor people, but very few people ever came in for help.

Angela said...

Hey, it's not only college students...I know some people that have several degrees and can be dumb as a box of rocks at times! Really irritating!