Monday, September 20, 2010

Netflix, and a Bad Movie Review

I'm not so happy with Netflix these days. Netflix is my favorite, however, they took away one of my favorite applications. That application was my "friends." See, here is the thing with Netflix, they had this feature where you could have friends, and I had a lot. When you were friends with your "friends" you could see their Queue (pronounced by just saying the letter "Q" - unlike me who likes to pronounce it "Q-E"- not correct. Also your Queue is where you list your movies that you want to rent, and the order you would like to receive them). For the past two weeks I have been devastated over the fact that I can't see what all my "friends" are watching and rating. It really has put a damper on my life. Oh the life I live. So, because I just have SOOOOO much time on my hands I called Netflix to ask them if this "friends" application had moved, or got removed. Much to my disappointment they have REMOVED it permanently from the website, and don't plan on ever bringing it back. What a shame. I was in a bad mood the rest of the day. Okay, not really, but I was sad about it. I guarantee my Mother Dearest is not sad that they removed this feature, because she hated the fact that I could see her Queue and all the horror/weird movies that she rents. Hi Mommy, I know you are rolling your eyes at that comment. (Does that mean most likely you are going to call me and tell me to take that last comment off, right?)

Now, let me get down to business. As being "friends" you could also write reviews on movies - you can still do that, but none of my "friends" will ever see my review. So, to utilize my blog I am going to write a review on here - not that I have never done that before, because I have.

Movie: The Canyon
My Rating: 1 Star out of 5 Stars
Rating: R, for brief disturbing content - according to Netflix
Genre: Thriller - I never once got scared, bored, but never scared!
Time: 97 minutes I WILL NEVER GET BACK!
***Spoiler Alert*** (I am going to tell you the ending. But, I can guarantee you won't want to waste your time on this movie)

Two honeymooners, Nick and Lori elope to Las Vegas and then spend their honeymoon at the Grand Canyon. The two love birds want to do a "back country excursion" on donkeys to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. The two newlyweds can't seem to get a permit at the snap of their fingers, when one night at the bar this old Mountain Man tells them that he can get a permit and take them down. Blah, blah, blah! On the first day of trekking their rustic Mountain Man Guide gets bit by a rattle snake and dies. The two love birds are left to try to survive and make it back to the top.

A bunch of boring survival stuff happens throughout the majority of the movie. They get tracked by wolves the entire time, and I kept thinking that the ending would be the love birds getting ate by these wolves. Not so. Having said that, I did my homework on this fact about wolves in the Grand Canyon, thus, the Grand Canyon does have an endangered wolf known as the Mexican Wolf which is approximately 5 feet long from end to end. These wolves in the movie were big, meat hungry wolves, that are not found in the Grand Canyon. Another thing that bothered me to no end was the fact that the girl, Lori, kept trying to get cell phone service - PALEASE! Really, come on? Everyone knows that you can't get cell phone service in the bottom of the Grand Canyon. So, to ruin the movie for you. Her newlywed hubby gets his leg stuck in a rock and the wife has to cut it out. Which brings me to my favorite line from the movie, Lori: "Here, you have to bite on this." As she places a piece of wood in his mouth to help with the pain she is going to cause by cutting his leg off. He say's, "I love it when you talk dirty." Gag! They did some great writing in this movie. She does cut his leg off and she gets him to hobble for some distance when the wolves attack again...where I'm still thinking this may be how the movie ends. Oh no, she ends up killing him by cutting off his air - plugs his nose and covers his mouth. Just moments after she cuts off his air a helicopter lands to save them. Yup, I just wasted 97 minutes of my life - kind of. I never waste anytime when watching a movie because I always make sure I am doing something, i.e. dishes, laundry, crocheting, SOMETHING. So, technically I did accomplish a lot why I watched this terrible movie.

Lastly, I am still trying to figure out why this movie was rated "R" because there was no sex, no violence, no disturbing images, and only one use of the "F" word. I have seen PG-13 movies dirtier than this one.

Take my word - don't waste your time on this movie.

9 comments:

Logan and Sydney said...

What led you to believe this would be a good movie??? PS, I have to agree that your favorite line made me laugh in a 'oh how cheesy' kind of way:)

Sproatmeal said...

Wait, so the wife ended up killing her husband? I didn't quite get that at the end.

So, now I'm supposed to think the Grand Canyon is scary, right? Yeah, not really a great place to set a thriller unless you have bad guys chasing them the whole time, too. Just not convincing.

Thanks for the bad movie review. I like this! And I'm also annoyed Netflix got rid of the Friends thing. I wonder why. Privacy issues or something?

Miss Jessie said...

I kind of miss your friend recommendations, you sent me some real winners.

Miss Jessie said...

They probably removed it because you were the only person who actually used the Friends tab. Seriously how much time did you spend on Netflix sending recommendations to your friends?

Lucashell said...

Well we just saw prince of persia and that was a real SNOOZE... I thought it would have been better. Oh Well...

Cardine said...

In all seriousness, I opened Google, typed in two words, and your blog was the 2nd one down on the search results. I just don't think you can hide with Google and putting your information on the web.

:)

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