This Can't Be Good....

I'm not quite sure what I drank last night....

Although, my memory is slowly coming back with visions of me drinking.  A lot.  I drank a lot of Root-beer with that Mexican food....

I'm pretty sure this color of "tinkle" in the toilet CANNOT BE GOOD!!!!

May you "tinkle" lot's of Luck on this St. Patty's Day!!!

Failure is not just acceptable, it's often essential.

I feel like I have failed!  But, as Randy Pausch would say, "Failure is not just acceptable, it's often essential."

• Almost umpteen years old and I don't even have a bachelors degree - in anything!!!
• Had a plan to graduate this May with a bachelors degree...not happening anymore.
• I rent a very tiny basement apartment - so I don't own!
• As of this very moment I am the poorest I have ever been in my umpteen years!!!
• Somehow I have two jobs (yes I got me a second job), possibly a third job coming up, yet all three put together don't even equal a full time work schedule???
• Lastly, I feel completely embarrassed to face just about anyone because I have nothing but sad/bad news to bare.  BASICALLY I SHOULD NOT BE IN THE PLACE THAT I AM!!!

So it is where I am today.  I sat around and boo hooed for two days straight when I got pulled from student teaching.  What good does that do me or anyone else?  First I even wondered why on earth they would have me START student teaching when we didn't even know my results of the Praxis test.  So, I started teaching.  Next thing I know - I'm done student teaching.  If I want to student teach again, and even graduate, then I wait until August, which puts off graduation until next May.  Before any of that takes place I need to retake this lovely Praxis exam.  Eighty dollars later I signed up to retake this lovely test on March 10, 2012.  I'm not going to stress, or dwell on this test.  I have several times I can retake it before August, so I'm just going to kick back and live my life.  If I am supposed to student teach it will happen.  If I am not then I will go to plan B.  Whatever plan B is?  

I ask myself, what is another failed attempt at school?  How long did I keep taking chemistry before I finally passed?  Don't answer that...it was way to many times!!!  But, I passed.  I eventually passed, and I will eventually pass the Praxis exam.  Until that time I am making use of my time here in Cedar City.  Time has been spent looking for a job, and I was blessed with a little cleaning job that will help supplement me until my summer job starts up on Grounds, yet again - thank goodness.  Life isn't going exactly how I had planned, but does it ever go as planned for anyone? 

I will take this failure and embrace it.  (I have no other choice.)  As I have just finished reading an encouraging book, "The Last Lecture," by the late Randy Pausch.  Reading this book gave me much assurance that things will work out.  Randy was an influential man during his time of teaching at a prestigious university, and reading his words makes me feel less selfish, and much less "woe is me."  For those who don't know who Randy Pausch was, he was a Professor at Carnegie Mellon University who gave a famous "Last Lecture" before he died of cancer.  This book could not have been a better book for me to pick up and read at this time in my life.  I soaked up every word of his book and kept a red pencil nearby so I could highlight many of his inspiring words.

• We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
• Never make a decision until you have to.
• Tenacity is a virtue, but it's not always crucial for everyone to observe how hard you work at something.
• The brick walls are there for a reason.  They're not there to keep us out.  The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show us how badly we want something.
• No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.  At the same time, it is often within your power to make them better.
• Too many people go through life complaining about their problems.  I've always believed that if you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out.
• I've found that a substantial fraction of many people's days is spent worrying about what others think of them.  If nobody ever worried about what was in other people's heads, we'd all be 33 percent more effective in our lives and on our jobs.

And lastly, 

• Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

I continue forward.  Life doesn't always go the way I had planned, but it's how I deal with those "out of plan" obstacles that will shape and mold me.  Yes I can sit around and cry about how I didn't pass my test, but crying over that test will not do any good for me.  I will get off my butt, and just move forward.  That's all I can do for now, and as I'm going forward I'll enjoy the experience, even though it's not what I wanted.

{Just incase I have to turn to plan B - I'm moving to Michigan.  I'm in love, and he is a weatherman with cute glasses!!!  And I'M NOT SEEING A WEDDING RING...........}

So...I "Deactivated" Facebook, Yet I Joined Pinterest

Remember how I deactivated Facebook a few months ago.  I say deactivated BECAUSE THEY WON'T LET ME JUST BE DONE WITH IT!!!  It will always be there for me, gee thanks Facebook, bless your heart.  So, even though I deactivated Facebook I have sadly found another website to suck all my time, Pinterest.

This lovely time sucking website makes you have to get invited to join, and way back in the month of May at my glorious book club we got talking about Pinterest.  I decided to come home and check it out.  I mean really, everyone was doing it.  As I perused the website I noticed this was a website that would really take my time.  Because I had some self control, back then, I was determined to stay off.  Obviously that didn't last long.  I kept being pestered by people to join, and I kept telling them I wouldn't because I have an addictive personality (maybe, I don't want to have an addictive personality though...) and I would spend every waking moment on this sight.

So it has become my life.  Why not?  I mean seriously, as most of you know, my life pretty much sucks right now, so why don't I just waste my time looking and dreaming about stuff I will some day make/do because I have saved it all on Pinterest???  Makes sense to me.  Okay, so I am not on there 24/7, but because the job market here in Cedar City is the pits, and going place to place is a waste of gas and time, and everyone tells me that to find a job now days, it's all "apply online."  Well, I am applying online, but when I need a break from this stupid job search I turn to Pinterest to ease my mind.

I'm not sure if I'll ever reactivate my Facebook, (for the record I had to activate it to join Pinterest, but I quickly deactivated once I joined) but until that day comes I have found a better use of my time.  And that use of time is perusing Pinterest for hours at a time.

Are you on Pinterest?  You are, how lovely.  I hope that you are "following" me.  Please take a moment to find me and follow my wishful thinking.

{fyi:  i got pulled from student teaching because that stupid praxis test i had to retake ended up landing me an even worse score then the first time!!!  this also means no graduating from college this spring, and i am also trying to find a job so i can just stay here and not move in with mommy & daddio - cause that can't be good...Dearest Lord, what are you trying to teach me...i'm about to break, and i'm pretty sure it's not going to be pretty when i do.}

A "Bra-tacular" Food Filled (Again) Weekend with Friends

I have just kind of been laying low the last couple of weeks since I won't start student teaching until February 1, 2012.  So, I decided what better time to get away then now.  I didn't go to far, I ended up in Salt Lake City visiting with some of my dearest friends, Jeremy and Neanni.  I left Wednesday afternoon and was to come home Saturday morning, but the weather blew in a storm and they (and my Daddio) didn't want me to drive home in the storm.  I ended up staying until Sunday.  (Side note:  I'm so, so, so glad I stayed an extra day because it's always hard to say goodbye, and because we got a babysitter and went and saw "We Bought a Zoo" which was SO AWESOME!!!  Seriously people this movie needs to be seen - just saying.  OMGosh I loved it so!!!)

Jer and Jean are new parents and have a busy little 15 month old running around, so I got plenty of time to play "mommy." I even got a few chances to babysit so they could go out on a date - was a great source of birth control.  We of course made sure that we ate some great food too.  We hit up Zupas - which is a must for me when I go visit, Cheesecake Factory - another must (and I now have a new favorite flavor of cheesecake - red velvet cheesecake), and we also hit up 2 Fat Guys - which I had never tried before.  Other than eating, and just hanging out we did try to spend my Christmas gift cards, but didn't have much luck.

Eating - such lovely shots aren't they???

Neanni and I.

Jer, Jean, and I.

Cute little "BooBoo."

**Warning**
This story I am about to share can either be embarrassing, or enlightening.  The men probably won't want to read further, and the women will probably thank me for my learning experience.  Either way, if you are a man don't read on...

Let me talk about clothes and shopping for a moment.  Lately, I have felt so much pressure about my appearance (what girl doesn't), and my sense of style.  I have pretty much just given up - don't care.  But, I also don't have a lot of money to buy me a lot of nice clothes, and when I do have money I gravitate towards, "grandma" type clothes.  Sweater vests, argyle, cardigans, and collard shirts.  That actually doesn't sound bad, but my way of putting things together just doesn't flow...apparently, I've been told.  At least that is what people are saying???  SO, I am trying to change my clothes/style.  Move away from the "same old same" that I wear - argyle, sweater vests, cardigans, and collard shirts.  However, I can't do it - this attire is comfortable for me!  New Years resolution, change my appearance...I guess?

As I am hanging out with Jean she becomes excited to spend my gift cards - who wouldn't be?  We hit up the nearest mall and as we began our search for my new wardrobe I become very discouraged and uncaring only 30 minutes into our shopping.  I keep gravitating to my usual clothes, and Jean, keeps telling me to put it back, and try something different.  I finally quit arguing with her, and let her pick out my clothes. I start trying on her "masterpieces" she is throwing together.  I try on a few things, nothing looks good on me, and basically, it's just "not me."  Finally, at one point, her and I are both completely frustrated as she looks at me funny.  Then she loudly asks me, "Lib, what kind of bra do you have on?"  I suddenly become kind of embarrassed because I know the bra I am wearing is not a good one, or even a bra that should be worn on a normal basis.  I am wearing, and have been wearing a sports bra. Ahhhh!  I know, I know, you cringe at this.  (So do I - now?) I really have known better, but like I have said, I just haven't cared much lately.

Jean tells me to get dressed, and that we are leaving the store for Victoria's Secret.  I once was a regular shopper at Victoria's.  But, because of money, I have turned to the cheap, not flattering bras.  Oh how sad these bras have made me.  We walk through the mall to Victoria's and as we walk through the doorway I suddenly become very nervous, turn completely shy, and any confidence I did have is gone.  I don't have a problem with a lot of things but going into a store like Victoria's Secret I suddenly become very self conscience.  Especially when I know what kind of bra I AM WEARING!!!  Jean loudly (again) finds a worker who happens to be right in front of a huge line to the checkout counter.  She tells the worker I need to be measured for a bra.  The worker then proceeds to measure me in front of a huge line of customers.  I ask her if we can go back by the dressing room - luckily we walk back to the dressing room and she measures me there.  First question she asks, "What kind of bra do you have on?"  I'm thinking to myself - why do I have to be wearing this terrible bra today?  I tell her what type I have on and she doesn't even bat an eye.  She wraps the tape measure around me a couple of times then gives me a couple of sizes to try on.  I will keep the size I ended up with to myself, but clearly size does not matter, what matters is that my "twins" are now in the right spot!!!

I ended up breaking the bank that day, and walked away with two new fantastic bras.  I also walked away with a new confidence - who knew that a bra could do that!  I also learned some fantastic advice from the sweet worker who helped me with my chesticular problems.  Ladies, I am not sure if you knew this, but the most important thing you should know about bras are these, ALWAYS get measured every six months for a new bra!  Women's bodies are constantly changing and the chest area is a very fluctuating area that needs to be watched closely.  Second, when wearing a bra ALWAYS start with the clasp furthest away, then as the bra stretches you can work your way into the closest clasp.  Third, (and I knew this but just never did it) ALWAYS hand wash your bra, and never let it hang to dry - lay it flat to dry - again this helps with the lasting longer.  Fourth, when buying a bra ALWAYS make sure that you buy more than one so that you can rotate each day and not wear out the bra as fast.  Lastly, it is well worth the money to invest in an expensive all-over-coverage bra!  Again, what on earth have I been thinking lately???  I hope this little piece of advice about my chesticular bra problems can help someone.  If I can but help one person, then my job here is done.  If anything, I COMPLETELY HELPED ME!  My twins are now sitting high and mighty, with no more dragging below, where they don't belong!

With all that said, I had a great weekend, and can't wait to go visit again in six months...to get a new bra, or course! ;)

Kevin James, I Will Sleep Good Tonight!

{For Summer Girl, H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!}

Just FEEL it.  WORK it.  And lastly, BECOME it.

Now if you don't see the agile, flexible hunk of meat that I see...then get your eyes checked Yo's!    ;-)

My "Freebie" List

Remember that episode of Friends.  YES, I AM TALKING ABOUT THE TV SHOW FRIENDS THAT I SWORE OFF AFTER MY MISSION.

Okay, get over it - I am going to talk about that TV show, Friends.  It's the episode where they all make a list of five freebies (celebrities) they can sleep with and not get in trouble.  It's a classic episode, if I do say so myself.

Here is my list - in no particular order.

1.  Jason Bateman - kind of nerdy, very funny, and yet, he has a handsome distinguished charm!

2.  Zac Efron - OMGosh!  I do like those young ones, but mostly his dreamy blue eyes.  Blue as the beautiful ocean...(And to think, if I had been into those "High School Musical" movies I could've have met this blue eyed hunk in St. George years ago.)
**SIGH**

3.  Jake Gyllenhall - first off, he is my age, currently single, and again with those beautiful blue eyes!!!

4.  Leo DiCaprio - my first love, kind of deep and dark, but sadly however, he's not really a funny guy???  (I need funny in my REAL man...)

The last one is a toss up...I have two!
5.  Ryan Gosling - He of course won me over in "The Notebook," but then I truly fell in love with him when he played Lars, in "Lars and the Real Girl."  More of a serious one, but we are the same age so that is a plus.

5. Kevin James - hilariously funny, not your typical "hot" guy, and older - at least older for me.

Okay, so I want to know who your "Top 5 Freebies" would be!!!

{Just an FYI on the Friends watching...I DID START TO WATCH WHERE I LEFT OFF, BUT I HAVE NOT FINISHED!!!  I kind of lost interest, or I just got sucked into current lame TV.}